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2005-01-19 | 6:11 p.m.

So, we're home. Many miles we drove.

The things we learned from the last time I updated until the end of tour:

1) Brad's grandparents will buy you anything you want if you even imply you want it. For example, "There're four of us" will get you a hotel room, "I'm peckish" will get you more food than you could eat in thirty lifetimes, and "I could really go for some crack cocaine" will get you high as fuck for thirty-six hours.

2) Driving to Portland overnight is always a bad idea, even if you spend your extra time outside of a porn store.

3) Frozen orange juice concentrate is an excellent substitute for ice when blending pina coladas. Taking a bunch of Somas is an excellent substitute for being able to talk, focus your eyes, or feel your legs.

4) Seattle is fucking cold. Like, colder than what you'd think. Hence the flannels.

5) The fine men and women of Boise are perhaps the finest men and women ever created by god or man. I have numerous bruises and scrapes and one hell of a hangover to prove this.

6) LDS sounds like some sort of thing you'd catch at a rave.

There's tons more, but who the eff cares, right? And so on.

<--biggie tupac-->